fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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