Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
