I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
