Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
