North Korea, Best Korea!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I touched a dick in church today
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
