Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
