ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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