Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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