Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
