so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
