you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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