Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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