Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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