Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
