I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize