I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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