Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I enjoy the company of your penis
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