so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
