The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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