He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
