i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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