umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
