it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
