Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
