I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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