O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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