lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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