I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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