He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
