Taylor Swift is so right about you.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
