With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
