i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize