Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
