I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
