Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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