Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
