If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
