absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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