she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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