My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
