I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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