found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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