Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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