But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
