OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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