ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
two words...techno handjob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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