marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i dont even know how to be here
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
