DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
