I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
