why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
