Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
