She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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