we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize