do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
