Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
nutella sex= disaster
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
