It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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