dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i barfeds in our rink
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
