his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
