Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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