this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
