I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
