It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
