I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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