Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Drake has all the answers
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize