idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
