some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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