so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
