Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
