I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
